The TV in My Head

In the grand tradition of blogging in front of the television, I will describe to you what is happening on “Breaking Bonaduce”:

Danny (former child star Danny Bonaduce, in case you’ve never seen this riveting madness of a reality show) is trying out the new electrical collar he bought for disciplining his dog. He ties the black strap around his own neck and starts the setting at “1”.

By 4, he’s feeling the juice. A little.

He cranks it, he cranks it, and he rests on 8, which produces a sharp jolt that convulses his head when he pressed the buzzer. His two little kids are laughing and jumping around.

Danny hands his oldest child, maybe 10 years old, the buzzer. She gets off a few shocks.

Then the little tow-headed one, maybe 4 at most, starts jumping up and down with excitement.

“You want to shock daddy? You want to shock daddy?” Danny asks his little kid. Then he hands over the controller.

Anyway.

I feel as if I spent the weekend post-shocker. A slightly-more-than-24-hour stomach flu seems to have run its course through my tired body, and the lingering headache tonight feels post-shocked in a worse way than what I would prefer—you know, "crappy," instead of that buzzy adrenaline rush you get after you are frightened or overly stimulated?

Once again, I am amazed how sickness can bring the world to a sudden stop. All the plans you had for those days are gone forever, unrealized, unexperienced. I felt no desire to eat, I could barely move from the bed. The one consolation for being flat out like that seems to be the odd ability to lapse into stretches of thought, even with feeling physically awful. Lying in bed immobile gives you that small gift: thoughts that may not last long but feel pulled out like taffy, sort of soft and lengthy, sweet.

[Technorati tags: Bonaduce, flu, taffy]