We Are All Triathletes!

...because we made it out of the hot, stinking hole they call the “subway” this August morning, dripping as it is with the wet, putrid sludge of an early morning storm and moving with the speed of a salted snail.

As my third train of the morning went out of service at West 4th, the conductor, he laughed.

He. Laughed.

But here we are, happily ac’ed, and CNN has outdone itself with this headline, making me smile:

Airline asks, 'Is that a monkey in your ponytail?'

Or are you just a fucked-up nutball to see me?

Let's go with "fucked-up nutball," unless you have any better suggestions.

Addendum: 1010 Wins reports that "other passengers asked the man if he knew he had a monkey on him." I will hereby attempt to coordinate that phrase into my lifedidyouknowyouhaveamonkeyonyou?