Taking Stock, One Could Say, 'ACCOUNT'

After Business Writer sent me to her accountant, who is directly named after a kid’s pop culture CLOWN, I sent Mza to him. He does various entire magazine staffs' taxes, it seems.

When I saw him, I melted onto his desk for an hour as he told me how he wanted to be a journalist, how he wanted to be a gonzo journalist, but how Hunter S. Thompson beat him to it. He also told me how very wrong I’ve been doing my taxes all these years.

He would jot down numbers, occasionally look up, and say things like:

“What did you do there?”

“What did I do there?” I asked.

“Did I say that?” he asked.

[This is a real conversation.]

“Yes,” I said. “You just said, ‘What did you do there?’”

“Oh,” he said. “Sometimes I just say things and don’t know I said them. I’m just working out stuff in my psyche.”

[This is what the Gonzo Accountant said to me.]

Back to Mza. She went to see the CLOWN postnamed, and decided GA, obv, would make a great profile. She called him to discuss.

Ring. GA answers the phone.

“I’m not here!” he shouts. He hangs up.

Yes, he did this. Yes, this is my accountant. Yes. Yes, yes!

People are wonderful.