We Like to Throw It Down When Possible

So I’m going to a party to say goodbye to some old colleagues at my old newspaper. Then I talk to my reporter friend who is going to a party distinctly nearby at as-distinctly a dive bar for a distinctly different newspaper. So I tell my friend Tab.

McBickle: [REDACTED TABLOID] is having a party at [REDACTED DIVE BAR]. We should attack.

Tab: Oh, really?
That’s funny.

McBickle: I know

It's a social thing—[REDACTED FRIEND’S NAME] is going
and it's so close.
I feel like we should battle.

Tab: Yeah, we should swing by.
[REDACTED DIVE BAR] is our joint!

McBickle: It is?
Hmkay.
Let's roll up newspapers and swat them.

Tab: We have hung out there more than a few times.
So it’s ours.

McBickle: Hmkay.

Tab: Hmkay your ass.

McBickle: Hmkay.

Tab: What is that expression?
It’s very smarmy.

McBickle: What expression?

Tab: Hmkay.

McBickle: Dunno, it just came out of my SMARMY ASS.
HMKAY?

[scene.]

In other news, I just heard that my friend had her baby today. She totally named him “Rocco.” Welcome to the world, Rocco! One of the crime families shall surely be yours! Or, like, Madonna!

As Tab just wrote to me: “He's gonna kick so many Dylan, Skyler, and Taylors' asses!”

Seriously, welcome. Now start training.