You Don’t Have to Speak Back

The other night I was at my local bar. Outside for a smoke, group of men I don’t know give me a light. Woman walks up.

“Wooow,” says one guy.

“Hm,” I say. “I wish people would say, ‘Wooow,’ when I walked up.”

“I did in my head when I saw you!” that guy says. “And I wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t know what to say. So I came up with a joke to say to you.”

“Oh, yeah?” I say. “I’m definitely not leaving until I hear that joke.”

“Well,” he says, “it’s actually more of a song title.”

“Go for it,” I tell him.

“Ready?” he asks. “It’s called ... 'You Don’t Have to Speak Back.'”

[Blank stare.]

[Blank stare.]

“Night,” I say.

“Night,” he says.