He Then Asked If She's More of a "Barney's Girl"

In the middle of a bout of insomnia last night my phone rang. It was a friend I don’t think I have a name here for yet. Let’s go with Firebrand. So Firebrand calls to tell me she is being pretty much stalked by a man who is wearing a lot of jewelry because his mother got him into astrology…what? She then shares with me a recent proposal she got from another online dater:

“He wrote and asked if I wanted to meet for lunch in a closet at Lord & Taylor.”

Needless to say, I didn’t fall asleep for a while after that.