Ha Ha Ha, Jesus Christ

I took a nap today. During said nap, I dreamed I played with an elephant. An elephant in a waiting room. An elephant in a waiting room in my therapist's office.

I'm not shitting you.

It was a small elephant, about the size of a large dog. And as I bent down to wrestle with it, this gray, Dumboesque baby rolled on its back and grabbed hold of my arm with its arms. Then my neck with its trunk. Then I realized that this was no joke. The baby elephant was definitely not letting go, and it was starting to hurt. There was strength in those limbs. I knew it just wanted me to stay and play, the same way I know my dog wants me to scratch her stomach when she sticks out her paw at me when I try to stop. But this was kind of a heavy-handed sign. It occurred to me then that this elephant could actually kill me by accident. Oh, shit, I thought, please don't let this elephant kill me while I wait for my therapy appointment.

A few wrestled, rearranged poses later, I managed to free myself from the elephant, bruised and shaken.

"He's cute, right?" my therapist said, when she finally appeared.

I never did get his name.