Because Nothing Else Is Funny

Harper's has the only funny thing I've seen since Nov. 2:

No contest
Posted on Thursday, November 4, 2004. From a list of cases heard in U.S. civil and criminal courts, published in the October 24, 2004, issue of the ABA Journal eReport, the online magazine of the American Bar Association. Originally from Harper's Magazine, January 2004.
Sources

Schmuck v. Dumm

United States ex rel. Gerald Mayo v. Satan and His Staff

I Am the Beast Six Six Six v. Michigan State Police

Friends of Kangaroo Rat v. California Dept. of Corrections

State v. Big Hair

Billy-Bob Teeth Inc. v. Novelty Inc.

U.S. v. Pipe on Head

Herb v. Grow

Henny Penny v. Chicken Little

Advance Whip & Novelty Co. v. Benevolent Protective Order of Elks

Fried v. Rice

Outlaw v. Commonwealth

Bad Ass Coffee Co. of Hawaii v. Bad Ass Coffee Limited Partnership

Easter Seal Society .for Crippled Children v. Playboy Enterprises

Loser v. Superior Court of Alameda County

State v. Nailer

People v. Fester

United States of America v. 2,116 Boxes of Boned Beef, Weighing Approximately 154,121 Pounds, and 541 Boxes of Offal, Weighing Approximately 17,732 Pounds

Jones v. God, Jesus, Others

Plough v. Fields

Farmer v. Heard

United States v. 11 1/4 Dozen Packages of Article Labeled in Part Mrs. Moffat's Shoo Fly Powders for Drunkenness

Truelove v. Truelove

Klink v. Looney

Hamburger v. Fry

Lexis-Nexis v. Beer

Short v. Long

People v. Booger